Since my first post and taking the leap of starting this space, I have been working on shaping it — a little messy, a little thoughtful, occasionally wordy (but not too much), always helpful and never too complex.
There’s just so much to say.
About self-care, boundaries, and the quiet courage it takes to keep showing up. And making sense of it in words.
So here’s a start.
A return to the why.
Why resilience?
Well, let me take you back seven-ish years. 23-year-old me, fresh out of law school, armed with idealism, working at a human rights organisation. The kind with very important work and very little sleep. And I was genuinely proud to be a part of it — doing the work I really wanted to do.
One afternoon, I found myself in my boss’s office. Crying. Not a tasteful tear. We are talking full-blown, can’t-breathe, crying.
Tears, mind you, were not foreign to the office. They showed up often — for survivors, for the unjust system and for colleagues who had not taken a proper weekend since 2010.
But these were my tears. And they caught me off guard.
I was overwhelmed.
And I realised I had slowly started to lose myself — in work. Work, that I cared deeply about.
And if I kept going like this, the next thing I would lose - was my love for the work itself.
That was the beginning of my very much on-going self-care journey —not by stepping away, but by learning how to stay and thrive.
Almost coincidently, a few months later, I was invited for an international gathering of activists and human rights lawyers. We were given a pre-reading - a book: What’s the Point of Revolution if We Can’t Dance? Naturally, I ignored it. I was too busy working.
At the conference, people were talking — really talking and sharing— about exhaustion, rest and resilience. About staying in the work without disappearing into it - mirroring what I had only been feeling as a quiet anxious thought, that:
Self-care isn’t an option in this work — it is what helps us stay in it and is the ground the work stands on.
That was also the first time I heard Audre Lorde’s famous words:
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
I came home and finally read What’s the Point of Revolution if We Can’t Dance?- a collection of reflections from activists around the world, gently but firmly asking: what’s the point of doing all this if we lose ourselves in the process? I remember noting somewhere after reading the book: Our movements need us alive. Not just physically breathing, but emotionally present, spiritually rooted, and connected to joy.
More recently, I read Rest is Resistance, where Tricia Hersey reminds us that rest is not just physical recovery — it is a portal. A portal to imagination, healing, and remembering we are more than what we produce.
She writes:
“You are worthy of rest. We don’t have to earn rest. Rest is not a luxury, a privilege, or a bonus we must wait for once we are burned out.”
And so my interest in this — in resilience, in self-care and this space- Resilience with Devika — is rooted in something very simple:
I love the work.
And I want to love it for as long as I do it.
The change we want to see takes long and if for long term. We are up against complex, powerful systems that demand time, stamina, and people who can still feel.
So my dear gentle reader, if we want to be here — and for long — we need to be resilient.
Not the tough-it-out, coffee-fuelled, denial-drenched resilient (at least not always)
But the well-rested, community-supported, boundary-honouring resilient.
So until next time, when I come back with more reflections on this, I leave you with these lines:
The change you want to see is not served by your burnout.
It is served by your wholeness.
More soon……
But for now, I hope you do at least one thing that makes you happy, mute that one exhausting group chat, and take a break you don’t need to earn. 🫶
📚 Books mentioned:
What’s the Point of Revolution If We Can’t Dance? Ed. Jane Barry
Thank you Devika for this valuable post on work-life balance, pointing out the pointlessness of revolution, if we can't dance!